Life is Not a "Do Over"

By Carolyn C. Bates

A friend recently came to visit who is contemplating a third divorce. Another friend lost their spouse and best friend three years ago. A long time client is concerned about their adult/child who is just not finding himself; he's thirty-four years old. Another client is estranged from their brother; they haven't talked in years. Another client spends his days putting out fires at work, with his college age kids, with his aging parents; how does he create some time for himself? What is the shared message? They, ALL, are stuck!! They, ALL, are losing their days forever. They, ALL, are missing out on their dreams and memories. What's happening to them?

One, Life doesn't allow for a replay, a reverse or a "do over". We've all heard "What if you died tomorrow? What would you do differently today?" Honestly, none of us has the time to dwell for too long in the past or to carry around quilt, anger, blame, sadness, envy, depression or pride. There comes a point when we all have to move forward, out of these secondary emotions, or they will wash over our lives like a giant wave of negativity. Literally, drowning us and taking away our chances for joy, the opportunities for wonderful memories and, actually, making time pass faster, since everyday is the same, we aren't creating any new memories or relationships. Are you doing basically the same things every day, every week? Have you tried to think of how these hours could be different?

Two, as you've heard before, you have to create your Life or Life will create itself for you. Time will continue to pass; the days will go by with nothing significant happening, so that they all seem to run together. Staying in a routine is one thing, but not allowing for spontaneity is another. It takes some effort to make the time to be with family and friends, but it doesn't have to be complicated or difficult. Where's the laughter? Where's the excitement? Where's the curiosity? Do you have anything to look forward to? Move out of that comfort zone; out of that routine; out of that chair!!! Do!! Be a part of life!!

What are some special talents or experiences you could share? Give of your time; you definitely will be rewarded twice fold for being involved. Nurture the connections you have and make new ones. Don't just stay with your generation, look to those younger and older for connections. Sometimes you can learn the most from those you expect the least from.

"It's never too late; that's why they invented Death"

-Walter Mathau Movie: "Out to Sea"

Carolyn Bates is an ICF Certified Personal Life Coach

Join Carolyn at a FREE Teleseminar - Are you Living an Adrenaline Lifestyle? Click this link http://bit.ly/kj6Cp to find out and sign up for this amazing teleseminar! Oct 15, 2009 6pm CST. Sign up even if you can't attend! We'll make it available for download after the seminar.

Specializing in successful life transitions and retirement for people 50 and older!

Your first consultation is always complimentary http://coachinglifedesign.com.

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How to Shift Your Thinking and Become As Successful As You Want to Be by Changing Your Inner Game

By Connie Ragen Green

Being successful is a process that can be learned over time. I know, because I went from having very little success in my life to becoming more successful than I ever imagined. I believe that if I can do it, anyone can do it. I decided to take a look back at the last few years to see what I did that others could benefit from.

The first thing is to decide what it is you want in your life. Most people do not get what they want because they do not know what they want. That seems like a terrible waste of your potential, so choose a few goals and go after them. It will be worth it in the long run.

Once you decide what it is you want, start reading and educating yourself. Learn as much as you can, because everything related to success is a learnable skill. Just knowing that will help you to think and behave in a positive way, instead of thinking you must be born with special skills or talents in order to have the success you deserve.

Focus on your goals and be disciplined about it. When I decided I wanted to become a writer, I started to write every single day. Writers write, so I disciplined myself to spend at least thirty minutes every day, seven days a week, writing about something I was interested in.

Connect with others who can either help you to achieve your goals or who are also pursuing their own goals. By surrounding yourself with people who are going somewhere in their life, you will develop higher level thinking skills that will change the way you think and behave. It will be a subtle change at first, but soon people around you on a daily basis will begin to notice that you are changing.

Continue to better your best by challenging yourself to do a little bit more each day. The difference between success and failure is that successful people are willing to do a little bit more to reach their goals. You can train and discipline yourself to have whatever you want in your life by taking these steps each and every day.

Remember that the reason to change your thinking is to have the life you deserve. Visit http://SuccessAndYourLife.com to get started right away.
Connie Ragen Green has been online since 2005 and teaches people how to build their own online business in record time, offering free teleseminars on how to successfully build your online empire.

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Choose Your Life

Many will say that dreams are for dreamers.  As we get down to this business of life, there is no room for such fantasy.  Those sentiments are usually expressed by those who have given up on their dreams and enthusiastically encourage you to do the same.


And if you are a good grown-up, then you label dreams as foolishness as immature; and join those who are responsibly doing jobs that they loathe; living lives that they hate; and making themselves and everyone around them miserable.  A life of sameness measured by impossibility.  Impossible to hope, impossible to dream, lacking texture and joy.  Who wouldn't want that life?

While people would argue that they would not choose such a life, it is nonetheless, the life that many live.   The reasons why are as numerous as the stars, however, we usually blame it on a bad case of the "lacks" -- lack of money, lack of skills, lack of time, lack of family support, lacking any other way to support the family, lack of education, lack of motivation  and on and on. 

People often live and die right there at the lacks.

But before you write that epitaph; before you decide that you don't have the means to live your dream -- examine this thought --- life choices have life consequences.  You commit a crime, you get caught, you go to jail.  You're a quarterback, you don't practice, your team loses.  You have tickets to fly to Chicago, you don't get on the airplane, you remain in Idaho. 

You imagine the life of your dreams, your choices reflect another life, you get the life you have, instead of the life you wanted.   Life Choices.  Life Consequences.

The question is ---- what did you choose?


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Live the Dream

Dreams are a funny sort of thing. Sometimes they're like wishing for the lottery --- you know, the odds are that you won't win --- but it sure would be nice. However, instead of buying the lottery ticket ("you can't win if you don't play"), you think of a hundred reasons why the money would be better spent on something else.


And another dream hits the floor.


At other times dreams are like cotton candy. Colorful, fun, sweet, a carnival ride. Taking you back to times when you wished the day would last forever.


Then life happened, circumstances changed. You changed. If you listen carefully, you can still hear the remnant of yet another dream rolling down the stretch of your life --- gathering momentum as it moves first from your grasp, then from your reach.

And as you live a life that is not your own, a sense of discontent seeps into your awareness. First whispering, then screaming --- who chose this life and where was I when the choice was made?


Then again, you knew the answer before the screaming started.


The question is ----  what are you going to do about it?



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